Re-adjusting

Well what a week I have had. My first full week in my new job working 11 to 12 hours a day with no breaks after lunch, continuously on my feet lifting 25kg+ boxes of meat, standing and cutting meat up to exact weight portions (bloody fussy chefs :P) and getting home with sore back and feet aching to the point sometimes they feel almost completely numb. 

This has seriously screwed up my routine and I have found myself little energy for proper exercise and the return of the after din dins hording down of food in sight. Since Sunday night (2/12) I have found myself bingeing on anything I can find. Sunday was just a couple extra choc biscuits which I logged and still came under. Monday I managed a wee walk which helped me again come under post binge.Tuesday onwards it just kept on rolling and rolling I ate almost anything and everything I could find during the next 3 days inc 6 boiled potatoes in one sitting, 3 on another night all unlogged :( On Thursday I logged what I ate and was over and  I did think of not posting it then I changed my mind and decided to leave my posting settings the same, so I posted my diary warts and all.
 How could I be completely open and honest with myself if I was not prepared to do the same with a group of people I have come to know and trust, who have always been supportive and offered great advice. I not once beat myself up over this eating but It did frustrate me no end. I was not eating enough protein that's why I was hungry was one of the things I looked at and made an effort to fix Friday/Saturday with noticeable differences. But to be honest I thought to myself that If this continues into and through the weekend That would be it! The weekend was to be make or break for me.

Friday rolled around to a better day, no bingeing and Saturday was by far the best day I have had this week! Ate well and was not craving anything. No exercise (resting up the limbs) but really satisfied and happy. And looking at that make or break comment....I would only be fooling myself if I allowed a off week ruin all the great and positive physical and mental gains I have made since late October. My friend said I should allow for at least two weeks to settle into a new full on work/eat/exercise routine and that makes sense. So I have planned out my next weeks exercise with 3 rest days and 3 walk days with Saturday a maybe day. Eating a bigger lunch to fuel my body till 6pm at the least is on the cards, and a sneaky snack mid afternoon to top me up.
One thing that came from this and everyday I binged I did not beat myself up about it, I just accepted it and woke up the next day all ready to roll no guilt for last nights crap, nope new day new start. 3-4 days of bad choices is not going to ruin the other 26 or so in the month now is it! Its what you do to understand and fix the days this happens that matter. Accept them for what they are and plan ahead for a new day tomorrow. Because thats what I'm doing, next weeks going to be a better week for me and it can be for you!

 I told only one other person about my struggles this week someone who has and continues to support me in my struggles and also my recent triumphs, she always offers great hints and advice which helps me stay the course. I am also accountable with a weekly exercise plan I share with her usually every Sunday when I make up a new plan and go over the weeks plan. I have found having someone to help me and offer advice and encouragement as well as being able to directly share the ups with extremely helpful and motivating. She has once again helped me stay the course and I believe its almost vital esp in the early stages of the journey to try to find someone like that. I never sort her out but as a MFP friend to begin with we became better acquainted and soon became good friends. Thats why to be fair I think even if you don't believe in logging or tracking each and every meal MFP also provides something (that sadly sometimes real friends that you grew up with or see everyday) and thats supportive understanding people who can relate and understand just what its like to be overweight and struggle to lose it. Get a support system in place and be true to them but more so be true to yourself, because at the end of the day if your not able to be honest with yourself then your only fooling the one person who really can do something about it, and thats YOU!

I will also make a commitment here on this blog, to all My Fitness Pal friends that I shall always be honest in the logging I do weather it be in the foods/exercise or in the comments. 

What kind of support network do you have around you? 

Feeling Like a ROCK STAR!

I have had some great days that equaled into great results both S.V (scale victories) & N.S.V (non-scale victories). I have looked at a few things and noticed a difference both in terms of physical and mental (I am always gonna be fully mental :P) So if you'll let me indulge as I eat my peanut butter w/banana on toast (YUM!) & Alpine Tea, Ill try to tell you whats what.

Today I left the doc's feeling like a Rock Star! I saw her about 3 weeks ago and she did the blood pressure test, weight and sent me for a million blood tests, with firm instructions come back in 3 weeks. Now usually I would have not been bothered to get the tests done, forgotten to take my tablets etc and never made another appointment. Thats pretty much why the last time she saw me was 2 years ago. But with all my recent new attitudes and progress I took my blood pressure tabs, went for the tests and continued my exercising and food positive action. Today my blood pressure went from 150/100 to 100/80!!! I also was down to 122 kg and the tests were good. So for the 1st time I can remember no lecture from the doc just positive feedback and some advice for moving forwards with keep up what I have been doing. YES!

So my scale victory is a loss of 11 kg since 13 October when I rejoined MFP. I have also gone from a 53" waist to 49. I have gained new and great friends who continue to motivate,support,advise and inspire me to better myself each and everyday! 

In my last blog I talked about reaching out and also the fact I had noticed differences in myself as I looked into my feelings that day. That progress still goes on, each day I notice how I now look at things in a completely different way.
 Take for example a show I used to watch and really wanted to have a chance to be on because I was in desperate need of help, a show called The Biggest Loser (Aus/US). I have not watched it since that last blog post (2 shows missed I think) why? Because where I would watch it and feel and even picture myself on there getting the help and losing weight, now I find it sad and wrong! Nothing against the show, it helps people change their lives and has a purpose. But no longer for me! I dont need to burn a min of 1800 calories a day, I dont need to eat like a bird, I dont need big talks I once imagined myself having with the trainers etc like you see.
 Because by exercising and eating within a set goal and surrounding myself with people who are going through differing stages of their fitness/weight goals I have learned to become stronger, in myself and I must say I am falling in love with my legs again ha ha ha! I am doing this and I am stronger mentally and physically because of the hard work I have put into me. I am for the first time in 10 years liking myself again.
Look I still have the belly and at times I wish it could just vanish, but then I reassess and well it is slowly going from the sides and the bottom up (not that bottom). Its slowly melting away and as the blogger in Move Love Eat posted HERE there are other ways to measure your success other than the scales. Take a look at it and remember the scales are only another tool in your kit to measure success.

Over the weekend I finally got out into the garden on Saturday and Sunday burning calories as I dug and cut trees, weeds and the like. I got the job done and a sense of accomplishment with finally reclaiming my back & side garden, oh and some burns on my hands from a plant of some kind ouch. I also turned off the TV except for Duck Dynasty and put the radio on and picked up a book and read as chatted to a friend via txt and FB. Time to think, relax, laugh and enjoy. I also did alot of reading on the internet and scored a couple great core and hip/glutes exercises to do after runs. Found a nice strength program called Beginner Body Weight workout found HERE. I also found THIS website listing 20 great Pre/Post Workout snacks! I also looked around the Active.com website finding some helpful articles. 

Oh and I guess the biggest news is......I start my new JOB tomorrow!!! woop woop I finally am employed again. In fact the day after my down day I was offered it. So so excited and also apprehensive. But this has also enabled me to Enter THIS! My 1st EVER event! A great great chance to test myself and a great goal to work towards and motivate myself. 
Now I think this blog has been long but please a bit longer as I will attempt to talk about the reason for my apprehension towards starting my new job.

Now its not the apprehension as normally you get in a new place or position like meeting new people etc. This is directly related to my exercise/food path. My main and biggest worry has been taking all this new found eating and more so exercise plan into the enviroment that is full time employment. Now I know I am not the only one who has a job either full/part time weather you be a full time mum at home or CEO, and I know a few who are achieving great results while doing this. But me? In Jan I started with MFP and one of the reasons I fell down was that I became employed full time and soon found myself getting home tired and eating all the wrong things. So the apprehension is due to past failures. And they are very much real and to be honest I am shit scared of falling down again. 

The food is not the issue, I can get up at 0430 for breakfast and make lunch the night before (done), the dinner will have to be planned the night before and I know I have this down. Its the exercising that is the main worry for me. Its all very easy to exercise everyday when I have had no job for 3 months, but now I come to my first REAL BIG TEST! Now here I could start to freak out and scare myself into a frenzy, but NO. I am better equipped than I was in January. I have achieved much more than I did and thus there is more to lose. I have a close group of people I know will kick my ass if I let myself and them down, one in particular.
 I am NOT about to let that happen. As I have said I am mentally stronger than last time, I am better prepared with better tools to overcome any issues. 
I have already made a exercise plan which starts tomorrow with times, I am committing to min 3 wogs a week with strength training the other days and Sunday being rest day. This is in my e-mail calender with reminders popping up 1 hour before I set the time to start each activity, this is also on my phone. I will wog before my dinner each night (late afternoon) and I will continue to be honest with my supporters on MFP in all my logging. I am making myself a promise and I dont break promises! I have come so far achieved so much in this time and I am not letting laziness and excuses re-enter my life! NO EXCUSES!

Owning those feelings

The below post is randomness I decided to write down last night after having a particularly low day, so bare with it as it may seem all over the place as I tried to express how I was feeling...

Today has been a meh day for me, I am writing down stuff now I have no idea why. I had a great dinner last night and went to bed looking towards today. I woke up tired and as usual grabbed a tea and put on Breakfast while eating Breakfast.

But I just for the life of me could and still cannot shake this feeling. I realised it was due to 2 things both out of my control really but still seemed to push down on me. I was expecting a call from a job today for either an offer or another chat and as the day moved ahead each hour without this call I dwelt more and more on it making me worse.

The other was a simple matter of not being able to walk to school and pick up my daughter as I needed to drop off the scarecrow we built. A perfect good reason not to walk, but to me it meant missing a great time distraction free to talk about HER day.

The call came eventually and the news was not what I wanted to hear, and started me wondering more and more. I exercised today did some strength exercises in the morning then a walk that was supposed to be my C25K, but I really did not want to be bothered with it today, so walked instead. I did push out about 4 hard and fast runs in my last km but still could not shake this feeling. I also ate well, still under my daily targets and didn't gorge on food to help make me feel better.

On refection that showed me I am making progress, as 4 weeks ago I would have polished off whatever I could have found. A big part of me told me NO as it would have been a waste of time doing all today exercising and sure feeling better for an hour or two may have been good, but at what cost?

I also had someone who reached out to me today that made a big difference in getting me through today with her helpful advice and understanding. She made me realise that being open to telling others I am struggling is a good thing and I should allow others to help. I offer support to others and should accept the same in return. She knows who she is and a very special THANK YOU is for you and your support today! J

Work or more like lack of it, is really making me struggle! It has me questioning the decisions I have made since last December when I chose to leave a well paid job that I had lost all interest and love for, to be able to spend more time with my daughter while she wanted me around. Was/Did I do it for those very reasons or was I being selfish??? Should I have not sucked it up like before and done another year or more??? Should I have stayed on getting grumpier at my colleagues and eating more and more to hide my loneliness and hurt? Should I have only seen my daughter every 2^nd Sunday for a whole day as it had been and explained to her later that I needed the money?

Time will tell in the end, and I hope that decision doesn't come back to bite me later on, even though I think that time is now.

It’s been 3 months since I last had full time employment. I have worked since leaving school to do an apprenticeship aged 16, and now I find myself skilled up with no place to go. Interviews are happening as it is I had one Monday, and one tomorrow and another on Friday. People are wanting to see me but that’s it so far, a few 2^nd and 3^rd interviews but nothing else. Its either they are freezing recruitment this month or someone more knowledgeable applied but you were close. Agencies I give up on. They seem to be all hot air and nothing more, all these so called potential offers or casual jobs never seem to materialise. Ok I’m a fat bugger but I am working on it. Look at my skill set 13 years in retail/customer service as management, NZQA in retail; trade certificate should be more than my appearance ffs! That’s how I feel at times, seriously I work hard and my weight does not affect my strong work ethic. I am not asking to start on big money I have always been prepared to start at the beginning if needed and move up, all I want is a chance.

What the fuck did I do seriously, dumb ass!

I am scared! Scared of this feeling becoming stronger and once again taking over, consuming me and destroying all this great work I have put into myself these last few weeks in particular. Sure I didn't over eat, I still wogged 3km and did strength training, but that was today and I had to almost make myself get out the door. What about tomorrow, what then? What if this rolls into another day? Scared of what I know can and has happened before. Mentally feeling meh has slowly worked into my emotional state this evening as I am alone with my own thoughts, and need to shake this quickly. I am scared! I am alone! I am sad L 

!@#$%^

Not long after writing that I turned off the computer and put the radio on low, lay on the couch reflecting, trying to make sense of it all for about 45 mins then I went to bed and thankfully slept like a baby. Today I woke and instantly knew today was good :)

I have just re-read this for the first time and its interesting how alot of this makes sense today, now. It was not all a bunch of jumbled mess, my thoughts seemed more clear while I was writing that down, and the fact that I never binged after logging and I did exercise is a massive difference in its self. But I actually want to now answer some of my own questions above....

Was I being selfish? Yes I was I did something for myself to better my relationship with my daughter. And these 11 months have been the best time imaginable spending with her, our relationship is strong and our bond closer than ever. My old boss told me when I left that he wishes he had done the same with his kids as he missed out on so much.

Should I have sucked it up for another few months or years?? NO! Hell no! I would have round up more unhappy and kept eating my loneliness into the grave. I had to leave for my own sanity before I may have also ruined friendships with my co-workers as Mr. Grumpy.

Should I have stayed on for the $$? If that meant continuing to see my daughter less and less the answer is a simple NO! The other side to that is unfortunately $$ is whats needed to pay the bills and I know my situation has put unneeded pressure on some people but they also know I am good at repaying debt. 

Some folk will never agree with the decision I made almost one year ago. But to me the measure of that decision will bare fruit in the relationship moving forward that my daughter and I have. And I am confident that the ground work and effort I made this year will bare fruit for the betterment of her and her future. A girl needs her mum, but she also needs HER dad. A father/daughter bond is magical, I still remember leaving the hospital the night she was born driving home with tears of happiness flowing, the overwhelming love I felt that I never knew was possible. 

One lesson I  learnt was to accept and embrace yesterday to put your feelings out there and not let pride get in the way of accepting help from people. I did that yesterday kinda and I did get some nice comments that I appreciated then and do now. Its important to accept the way you are feeling and try to embrace it and understand that we all have these feelings and reaching out for a hand can lead to great advice and support that can be the difference between in my case gorging on food and not. Now I am still going to struggle reaching out as its become a lifetime habit, but I will still attempt to reach out if I am struggling. Also another thing I found yesterday was I was able to own these feelings and not be ashamed by them. Today I have embraced them and understand more about myself and what may have lead to these feeling. 

I am proud of getting through yesterday, not gorging out on food and still exercising. That alone tells me the progress I have made these last few weeks. One of the reasons also I reached out was as a member of MFP in Jan/Feb I had these days and let it absorb me leading me to delete my profile and everything around it. I made a promise to myself I would try to let others know how I was feeling. Because its great having that support network and encouraging each of your friends, but if you don't say your maybe having a down day, how are they really able to be YOUR support if they don't know. Own the feelings embrace and accept them, and reach out! It can be the difference between giving up on yourself like I did earlier this year or being supported and not giving in on yourself.
Because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

Better blog the shit out of that!

One of the many encouraging and supportive comments I received today from a great support network on MFP they know who they are and everyday is a step in the right direction with you lot on my side

What's this about anyhow??? 

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Oh yeah thats what the fuss is all about! I have lost 2kg since my last weigh-in for a total of 8kg in a month! I also have lost 2" from my waist. This had me checking those scales to double check, and yeah the independant scale auditor (my daughter) confirmed these findings to be 100% correct! 

Now part of the reason I was so surprised was last week was probably my worse week since getting back on board 4 weeks ago. I started out doing my C25K wk 3 day 1, and from there it slowly dipped ending in a weekend of migraines and puke! I only did 3 days of exercising and the food...well that wasn't all that bad which I see as a positive. So as you can see the lead into today was not the best.

What changed? I DID! I DID! I DID! I BLOODY DID!!! Two things happened today that have lead to my new found AWESOMETASTICNESS.(and yes that is a word because I just made it up) 
First I woke and felt good grabbed breakfast with a cuppa tea and jumped onto facebook. One of the posts I saw was from Becs and it was the last line in her post that did it for me. "Do something to challenge yourself that little bit more".
Challenge myself more....To me that was get ya sneakers on and walk to get your bloods done. NO EXCUSES!!!! where the Whakatane did that come from????? NO EXCUSES! Anyway off I went coming back a slightly longer way, hopping into the shower feeling AWESOMETASTIC (that word again).
NO BLOODY EXCUSES! NO EXCUSES! kept ringing in my ruddy head so I started saying it out to myself and realised I know where this came from...ME! For once I was actually listening to my inner self. NO MORE EXCUSES! I looked at those bloody scales and jumped on NO excuses. The results pushed me forward I was doing fist and chest pumps I was stunned, shocked and stunned but bloody happy!
All day I have taken on the NO EXCUSES thought and I have decided to make it my own. I have looked to anything and everything these many years as excuses to not do squat. No more, so I have printed out NO EXCUSES images and put them in the kitchen in the bathroom above the scales, next to the computer and in my room above my bed. This has propelled me to burn over 1000 calories today, dancing to Elvis with my girl and showing her how to long jump in the hall way! I feel like getting out and going for another stroll.
Oh and Becs and Jam_Hunt, yes I am a LOSERRRR a whole 8kg one 

What awesometasticness have you achieved today? Did you challenge yourself?

"Your doing great"...

Before embarking on my attempts to start running again I made sure I did some basic reading and also on the MFP forums. And as I have mentioned in one of my earlier postings one topic really helped me bite the bullet and start my wogging adventure, which lead to my discovery of C25K. One of the predominant comments that came through other than the you can do it and at least your doing something comments was that often other runners won't acknowledge you as they are in the 'zone', but also there is a great amount that will acknowledge you with a comment of gesture.

Now two things happened today, one was as I was wogging and the other occurred to me as I was recovering while walking home after completing the program. 

 I was nearing the completion of lap 3 and was wondering if I had started out to fast and should walk as my legs where screaming at me, another runner approached and said "Your doing great" giving me the thumbs as she passed continuing her run.
 Before I knew it I had completed this leg and was feeling boosted by the little encouragement I had received from a complete stranger. That one comment helped me get through the rest of today's wog as I replayed it to myself whenever I found myself trying to push through the 'give up your sore' mentality to complete today's C25K!

I was bloody sore afterwards and looking back on today's stats I had started out at a pace of 6:55/6:19 and ended leg 3 with 6:28. So yes I had in fact stared faster than any other wogs where my starting legs were around the 8:30/9:00 mark. But this little bit of encouragement from someone I had encountered while exercising; a complete stranger; helped me push through and not give up. What I had heard about and read actually happened to ME.

 Okay yeah, so It may happen to you alot, and I hope it does and that you do the same. But remember back if you can too the first time you had it happen to you, where a complete stranger, a fellow runner looked at your efforts to run and took a few seconds out of their time to give you motivation and encouragement. I bet you felt like you could smash it and that comment may have helped you that day complete something that you may have been finding hard to keep on with. 
I hope in a few months time when I am able to run some distance with less effort I will  be able to say "your doing great" to someone and never forget how it was at the very beginning. Because that person you encouraged today may decide to keep on going after all and in turn may pass it on to others.
Little things like that can make a difference to us newbies and sometimes perhaps even those more experienced and I myself am going to make the effort when I am wogging to do the same to someone I may see trying hard to run or even walk, and I challenge you out there to do it also! 

As I was recovering unknown to me I realized that I had overcome my issue of not wanting to wog in front of others. Slowly each day as I encountered people the feeling of "Oh shit people are seeing me run" disappeared and today I actually realised I had encountered more people than before and instead of wogging to the path on the left because less people were there I maintained my original track continuing past them. 
And if I had chosen the other less travelled path today I would not of encountered my encouraging runner either. So take the path more travelled because you may miss some helpful words or gestures that will push you to do more each time. 

Did you encounter or offer any encouragement on todays exercise?

Some Mornings...

The last two mornings I have woken tired and needing my dose of caffeine, and I expected to start feelings a bit more energized in the morning by now. Maybe it is the fact I am working out more and my body is still adjusting to the new style? As long as I can remember most mornings I have been a zombie. So maybe I am just not a morning person and never will be, as I have always been more of a night owl.
One thing I have noticed on a positive is I am sleeping better. It's not taking countless hours tossing & turning trying to get to the land of nod anymore. Just last night I remember starting my nightly chat to the boss up stairs and then nxt thing I'm waking up this morning. I must make a note to see if any changes do in fact happen, i guess an earlier night will be a help.

I have started week 2 of C25K this week and today completed day 2. It was a lot less on the feet today and I made the effort to stick mostly to the paved pathways instead of the grass and metal ones. And my decision was for the better as I lasted better and it showed in my times.So going forward this is the way I will set out my course until i have lost more weight but also built up more stamina.
I am really enjoying this program though and feel excited about progressing into the later stages with more confidence in what I can still achieve. Going to get another C25K app as the RunDouble free period expires after week 2, and  to continue on with the rest of the app you need to upgrade, which is a shame as  I can't afford it unless I can pay it from my mobile credit.  I however do highly recommend it and will link it from my page so you can go check it out yourself. Note: All my apps are for Android.

Sorkit. A new app I trialed on Tuesday to help me do some strength training on my non C25K days either before or after my walks. It's a killer! I tried it on overall body for 10 minutes and boy was I puffing like two steam trains. My lungs were screaming.  So I will be putting myself through that again tomorrow, as so far it suit's me as no equipment needed. I will see how this plays out for the rest of the week and if I run into now issues will link it also.

My new eating targets are working well, and it was pointed out to me last night by a trusted MFP friend that my days meals were a bit lite. And yeah, she was correct as I had only put away around about 1300 cals, the thing is I never felt the need to add to it as I felt totally satisfied. Bare in mind this is after exercise cals burned have lowered it down to that total. Still a lower amount than expected.
But I always appreciate advice, suggestions and observations especially from any of my MFP friends as they are all in the same boat and look at things from a different view point and this in my opinion is a great part of MFP. Thanks bec's much appreciated!

RE-ADJUSTING THE SEAT

This is the shot of the start of this mornings C25K session, 7am and what a sight. Yep I was out starting my training at 0700 today and did It start with a bang or what!

2.5kg…2.5 KG that is what I lost last week, for a total of 6 KG in two weeks!   to start the day! That is what motivated me to head out for an early training, and what a great way to wake up. No coffee or breakfast first, nope straight out the door and off I went.

Went a slightly different route this time and I enjoyed the pace for a majority of the session, at the end I was pushing it but I made it. On week 2 of C25K the running legs increase to 90 sec but the total laps are now only 6. I was slower than last week, but that's to be expected as I re-adjust. My total pace over the 2.19km (warm up/down not inc) was 9:34 but the best run leg was in 7.51 min/km over 190m. In total I burnt 458 calories (warm up/down inc). And I felt real pumped and ready to smash it today!

So got home and added in the new weight of 127kg and was prompted to re-adjust my targets, which I did and with some smart advice changed my activity level from couch potato to light activity due to the amount of exercise I have/am doing now. And yes it does look better.

Then the day basically went to NOTHING, I did not want to be home and felt the need for some interaction and get out and about. But that never did happen instead after breakfast and around about 11:40 I had a nap till waking around just after 1500. Bugger! day wasted, lunch missed. So decided I would have a bigger dinner and abit earlier so if I did feel hungry later due to not having lunch I could maybe have some toast. Still had an afternoon apple which got me to dinner and I feel satisfied at the moment which is good. Still can’t take away the great feeling of losing another 2.5kg and completing my Day Week 2 C25K, because I achieved it!

I have been looking to up the training mostly on the non C25K days instead of just a walk, and one of my MFP friends tested out a new app and she recommended it. Its called Sworkit. Its basically an app the help work out using no equipment and you can do it at home. So I am going to try that tomorrow afternoon after my morning walk.

 

Still moving….

Wow, its been two weeks since I purchased another ticket on the weight-loss/rediscovery express and this last week I have had to make adjustments to my mentality and attitude in a few ways. I have hung my head out the carriage window and taken a small taste of the over eating breeze but sat back down and made plans to move to the next seat, along the way asking for help this time and getting a lot of helpful suggestions (They know who they are & hopefully reading my blog..Thanks!). I have started really putting them into practise these last few days/nights and the need is not so much (if at all) to poke my head out the window.
One week ago I set down some small targets to try and achieve and they were:

1) Complete Week 1 of the C25K programme. COMPLETED!
2) Maintain 5 days of exercise (any days). COMPLETED (Surprised to just discover did 7 days worth, though yesterdays wasn’t proper exercise still 6 days is great!)
3) Have a bread free day. COMPLETED 23/24th!
4) Have a cheese free day. COMPLETED 23/24th
5) Look for other things to do instead of TV/Games. COMPLETED! This Blog is perfect. Had less TV this wk more Radio!

So I am very happy with how I went! It was not easy doing the C25K, but found the rest hardly noticeable, especially the food ones. I set Wednesday to be cheese free and not until later that day did I realize I had not had any bread. BONUS! So this was continued into Thursday as I had planned this to be bread free. Now I am not sure if having these days lead me to purge on sandwiches around midnight that night or not but I dealt with that in my last post. 

I had a great day today. Got out and pushed my walk with a PB for 1km of 10.21 followed by a 11.07! I use Endomondo for my walks to track them and find its a great app and tracks well! So after I felt BUCKING AWESOME!
I actually did quite a lot today. I found myself reading through two great and helpful/inspiring blogs by fellow MFP friends and have linked them to my blog so please click on the links and follow their amazing work, a little bit about them….

On a Jam Hunt is a great blog where you get to “Pimp the Beast” as the author puts it and is full of great pages from playlists to daily thoughts and suggestions like finding another way to incorporate Chia into her day and being honest about having bad days!

Move Love Eat is another great blog and I spent a good deal of this afternoon reading through and also being inspired by another great blog author. This blog is all about fitness, loving life and eating good through her eyes as well she shares some of her plans and is also honest about the bad days as well as the good!
So please go to their sites and gather some inspiration and honesty from two wonderful bloggers!

I have notes that I plan on putting into blogs in the near future one will take a while to compose as its going to be an open and honest account of how I totally buggered up the promising life I had and will be close to the heart with raw emotion in it, so it may happen this year or not its going to be a work in progress.
Something else I did today was make an exercise plan and actually put it into a calendar. Never really thought of this before but was inspired to do so and now I have done it make perfect sense.
So with this week checked off and a new one only 2 hrs away it is time to make another 5 targets…

1) Complete Week 2 of C25K
2) Follow my exercise plan (6 days)
3) GET A JOB!
4) Be HONEST in all my blogs/logging
5) Start the garden!

That's all. For all the NZ folks ending their long w/end and making the trip home tonight/tomorrow drive safe and look after each other! To the rest of the world take care of each other and yourself.

Today Is A REAL TEST Day

That’s, what I wrote on Friday morning in my notes. I woke feeling really bloated/big/Full whatever you want to call it, that morning as I had a cave in and had a midnight feast. Okay it was two sandwiches with cheese,lettuce, and the works so not that bad you may say, which sure is true. But I just hauled it down and I will say IT FELT GOOOOD! Maybe having no cheese/bread for two days didn’t help, who knows. I have no excuses for it as I was aware of what I was intending to do before I did it and I carried through with it totally at ease, with the decision. I told myself I would log it tomorrow and not beat myself up over it. And to be fair, that's what I did. I logged it under Fridays lunch and have not felt guilty about it. I have accepted it and sought help from a great support group of MFP friends to avoid this in the future.

I was given great advice and suggestions from snacking before lunch/dinner and having a tea in the evening,(Alpine suggested) to reducing the amount of starchy carbs and get them from more fruit/veg. Also increase the amount of protein I am consuming. Another helpful piece was that as I am more active and this week have started more running so will have an increase in appetite until the body adjusts.Looking at changing my goals to try and avoid this happening again, Its been suggested perhaps I am not consuming enough Calories…What do you suggest??

So that’s how Friday started and It had the potential to decrease more really. I was mentally trying to avoid the exercise today,probably because I felt big and heavy. I also had an interview at 10:30 and was really looking to use it as an excuse not to exercise due to lack of time when I get home before heading off to the school before 14:00 for my girls assembly performance.

BUT……. I did the C25K Wk 1 Day 3, and I feel sore and Bloating went and was not an issue for me at all. Its hard to believe the feeling I had this morning was how I used to feel a lot of the time when I woke up, and this morning had been the first time I had felt this way since starting back with MFP. I think I also need to harden up a bit more mentally when this happens again, and go for the water instead of the food! Rest day for Saturday and plan on doing some reading etc, as its the start of the long weekend here in NZ. Be safe and take care of each other!

C25K and WOGGING

MONDAY 21/10/13

A good day to start off week 2, began with my weighing in at 129.5 kg which was a loss of 3.5 kg! It may have been more however as I was rinsing my plate from breakfast when I realized OH shit! I need to weigh in today, so raced off and stripped down to boxers jumping on scales ha-ha.

Only 1 coffee today and noticed that yesterday I also only had one, which is good and may be why I have slept a bit better. So I am going to try and maintain that.

Lunch was wow fantastic….OK so it was only a grapefruit grilled w/brown sugar but oh boy did it taste great. I have had it before when I was growing up, mum would do one now and again for breakfast. And the other day at the fruit and veg shop I saw fresh ones and instantly the thought popped into my head, for an alternative to breakfast. The fact I had it for lunch weeeellll who cares.

Yesterday I had downloaded an app to help get me started running it’s called C25K-5k it uses a popular beginners running program to slowly introduce you from Couch to five km running (C25K). Anyway so I was going to pick up my girl from school and walk her home as I usually do on nice days, this time I thought I would try it out on the way there (Its also one of my goals for the week)

So I left a 14:00 and headed off via the local gardens and away I went wogging (a the term I have heard and like ha-ha). Now last week I tried adding tiny runs into my walk now and again but made sure NO BODY not even a dog was about before I would wog off and as soon as I heard or glimpsed the tiniest hint of any life other than the birds I would stop. That’s because I am so extremely self conscious of what other's may think or perhaps say it’s also because I know physically I am not a sight to see in a good way,and that’s with shirt on.

But yesterday while reading up on this program and getting feedback on the MFP (MyFitnessPal) website one of the forum topics was about starting out running and why some ppl do it at dawn or dusk and the comments there were 100% correct. WHO CARES! What the ppl in their cars or walking past may think. Whatever they think will only stay with them for a split second like a fish, and what they say doesn't matter either they don’t know you and chances are will not see you again anyway.
This got me thinking and yeah ya know they are right, I am doing this for me not them, let them stay at home and eat or watch TV or go to the shops in their car. I am going to walk and then wog my way into better shape, and ya know what? Next time they may see me, they could very well go wow look he is still doing it and man he looks better; and you know what? I will be better! Now applying this to going to the pools or beach to swim is another block I have yet to even attempt,that’s another day.

So off I went as planned at 14:00 started the app and after the 5 min warm up the dreaded tone said "begin running"……so I did and I took about 4 strides and low and behold ahead was someone working in the garden. So I kept going and it felt good, even better when the tone said "begin walking" phew breath.
This continued for 8 more running laps (60 sec each) and was followed by 90 sec walks. I ran and then stopped in plain view of someone with their dog, but I stopped because my 60 sec run lap had stopped and I was supposed to walk, not because I saw her.
I also ran onto another track as a group of people where in plain view this time I had to START the running so I did. The track I took led me to the main road BUGGER! But I kept going I was struggling but then I had to began the warm down. I had done it!!! I was absolutely sucking in the air even the 3 little pigs hadn't seen so much huffing and puffing.

But I had done it, I had actually completed it and I had to be seen by people too. As I was cooling down the app shut off and closed down for no bloody reason, thus began my day of frustration with phone apps!

So I lost DAY 1 WEEK 1 of the C25K I had just finished, man I was beyond annoyed. So I logged onto Endomondo to track the short walk to school where I could pause it while waiting for the bell to ring before resuming it for the walk back home. At least I would have this data logged…HA! Not likely! The resume never stared; the app closed itself down and the battery was not at fault this time, man now I was fuming! All I could think of was all the excellent effort I had done was now a complete waste of time, how many calories had I burnt etc ahhhhh. I so wanted to smash my phone onto the concrete and then stamp on any parts that survived.

So all today’s exercise logging was estimated as I really have no idea what I burnt, so very frustrating. But I thought about it when I calmed down and OK so I lost any logging etc, but it wasn't a waste of time. I HAD DONE IT! I had done the c25k and the walk today even though I don’t know what I had lost I still had and I feel bloody good about that! Oh yes the phone never did meet the concrete.

So anyway home and homework done I decided to look into this app more and I was not the only one having linking issues and shutting down, so I have uninstalled it and installed another one called RunDouble C25K which has linking issues due to how MFP logs in FB users but at least it will track and show my progress and I can then copy this over, so that will be trialed out Wednesday my next C25K day.

Eating went well, did less than 1200 cals and was under in my Carbs/Fat & Sat Fat amounts, and I do feel good not bloated and unable to move. Tomorrow will be a walk to school if the weather is good otherwise I’ll make it a rest day. Now the blocks on so I’m gonna bugger off and watch that then Person of Interest before hitting the sack!

TUESDAY 22/10

Had three crumpets with Peanut Butter on two of them and Jam on the other for breakfast this morning, along with my wake up coffee. Did the school drop and now looking about for good blog sites etc… Have decided that tomorrow will be cheese free day and Thursday bread free day.

Not too sore at all from yesterdays C25K session + walk, so may walk to do the school pickup this afternoon, as I think if I don’t I may feel guilty even though I have planned only five days a week for exercise. I may potter outside in the garden or attack the garage later, not really sure yet.

Spent the day setting up my blog and publishing what I have done so far, time will tell how well it is received and I do hope people will feel the need to follow. But at this stage its more about me being able to document my day to day progression and express my thoughts etc. Work in progress!

Did the walk to school, which was good. Did feel a bit more puffed than usual and that may be down to yesterday’s exercise and also perhaps the lower intake of food, which I think my also be why I have felt hungrier today.

So today was a less active day in comparison but still a good one. I did well food & exercise wise, and me and my daughter have invented a new ball game called GO! Tomorrow is my DAY 2 C25K day and also no cheese day. Check back and see how it went……..

WEDNESDAY 23/10

Today saw the recent sunshine we have been blessed with,fail to show. Instead it was a drizzly overcast day, but still a nice temperature. The usual school run was done and dusted with ease, today’s goals were to complete day 2 of the C25K program and also have a day without cheese.

Not sure if it was the weather but I felt a little sluggish mentally, and I was fussing about doing nothing of any real value. I even posted online if people who run use backpacks or anything else all because i was indecisive about running with my bag on. I did eventually take the bag and once my jacket,cap,keys & water were loaded I felt it would be weighted enough not to bounce about to much. After this it was 10:45 by time I got the runners on and changed my top about 4 times before I was happy I would be warm enough in the drizzle before my run started and not to hot once I got going. So any way I eventually made it across to the gardens where I loaded up the RunDouble app and started my training………….

I felt better today doing this program and maybe it was due to the drizzle and cooler day we had or maybe it was also because I had started the app earlier, so when my run started I was slightly ahead from last time which probably made it feel like I was quicker. Who knows; most likely the answer was (D) all the above!

Throughout the training I felt better until maybe the 6th leg of running and then it really kicked in, I managed to just complete the 7th lap and by time I had completed the 8th and final run leg to begin the warm down, I was puffing more than a steam train!!

 

After the cool down I sat, rested and had some water. I had recovered quite well and I was very happy with how I had done and looking at my stats was pleasantly surprised that I had averaged 9:03 m/km for 2.21km not including my warm up and cool down (WU/CD). for a calorie burn of 445 (inc WU/CD). I now have a valid time/distance target to judge my progress by for next time.

I didn’t walk for the school pickup as I wanted to give the legs a rest, but to be honest I still felt good, sure the legs were a bit tender as to be expected but nothing that made it a struggle to move. I guess tomorrow morning will be the test but I still feel good physically now at 21:15 so I have no concerns.

The food went well also, I ate about 1700 cals today so my day totals were Calories 1701/2175 (-474)/Carbs 263/299 (-36)/Fat 44/72 (-28)/Sat Fat 22/24 (-2). I also set myself a food goal today which was to not eat one of the foods I consider a weakness and that was NO CHEESE. All I can say is Mission COMPLETED! and a bonus food goal I had set for Thursday was a no bread day and I also completed that today YEAH! That’s two of my weekly goals I set on Sunday night completed and I am also 75% towards my major exercise goal which is to complete Week 1 of C25K!!!

NEW BEGININGS

Monday 14 October

No exercise today due to the back to school fun and interview in town at 11. Home in time for lunch and back to school again. I was gonna walk to the school but just as I was gathering my bits an bobs got a call for some temp work starting at midnight and needed to be handy to pen and paper + phone so in the car it was. I put down to exercise 5 times a week and that’s still more than do able so I am not worried.

Good food today I am happy about that. Gonna have a meal around 22:30 to help restart the engine for my work, taking a ham/chz sandwich and two apples which will be logged on Tuesdays diary. So that days food may seem a lot so a challenge to get into a new food rhythm fast!

The rest of the week went well, no major blow outs like pizzas etc, and from Wednesday been walking so that’s my 5 days of exercise.

Sunday 20 October 2013

I feel really good most of the time now. Slowly starting to have better sleeps and less and less coffee needed. I have been good with my eating and if I have small slips I don’t beat myself up, I just dust it off and keep on going.

Buying more fresh fruit and veg and looking at nutritional info on the back of some things and man it’s amazing some of the amounts. Most of my walks this week have had tiny jogs in them and I dusted off the old Mt. Bike the other day to fix up and rediscover my joy of cycling.

Really want to swim again, but due to my physical appearance I have -100% confidence to take off the shirt and jump into a pool yet alone the sea. That’s a goal I am aiming for. As a kid/teen I LOVED the water and sports etc, now it’s about rebuilding confidence again to do things I once took for granted.

I have made no promises to myself that I will actually do it this time, which never works and makes the feeling of stumbling worse, so I end up giving up altogether. This time I am just accepting each day’s progress as it comes and making the effort to improve and challenge myself. It’s always easier when I am not working however so the real challenge will come when I get back to full time work. But the want is there and that makes me feel good!

Went for a nice walk this afternoon, about 4.3km which I really enjoyed in the nice warm sun and cool breeze. Noticed that towards the end I felt like I could have kept going (which led in part to the 7.5km walk yesterday ha-ha), so headed home where I topped it off with some water and slices of Orange.
Before the walk d/loaded an app on my phone called C25K which I tested out for a few mins at the beginning of my walk. I will look to make Monday, Wednesday & Fridays my C25K days to mix up the exercise.

Not much of a big goal setter but gonna make some at each weeks end and see how I did, so for next week:

    Complete 3 days of the C25K challenge

     Maintain the 5 days a week exercising 

    Have a bread free day

    Have a cheese free day

   Look for other things to do in my down time instead of TV/games.

Feel free to offer hints, or help to me for these!